Yoh reads Miroku
by Magome-Asakura
Summary: Yoh wants to tell Anna his true feelings for her but doesn't know how. So, he reads a book by a certain lecherous monk (From InuYasha) for tips! Funnyness!


DISCLAIMER: I do not own Shaman King or Miroku. Now I must go cry because I don't own them :(

**Yoh reads **_**"Miroku's Tip's To Get The Woman Of Your Dreams" **_

**and Ren's surprise for Pilika**

Yoh panted hard as he completed his 600th lap. He glanced at Anna and felt a chill go up his spine. He finished and ran over to itako, dripping sweat.

Anna wrinkled her nose at the smell of b.o. and looked at Yoh.

"Go shower then we're having dinner." She said walking away from him and Yoh laughed goodnaturally.

"I love you too." He whispered, sad that she seemed not to feel the same.

'_I wish I could say that to HER and not just to myself'_ Yoh thought climbing into the shower.

"WAIT! I've GOT IT!" Yoh yelled suddenly as the shower water hit him. Yoh's friend, Miroku had just written a book!And Miroku knew _everything_ a girl wanted!

Yoh decided he'd buy the book, take it's advice and win over Anna's heart. Happy, Yoh began to sing OoPs I DiD It Again By Britney Spears at the top of his lungs.

Yoh looked over his book at Anna (the book's cover was hidden by a comic book so no one would know what he was reading.).

Anna was telling Tamao how she wanted dinner prepared, and hardly noticing Tamao looking at Yoh shyly as she spoke. Yoh laughed to himself quitely and went back to his book.

He was almost finished it, and he wanted to try out the tips as soon as possible. He was on the last page as Anna came up to him. Yoh gulped nervously and shut the book, hoping desperatly she didn't ask what he was reading.

"Yoh, We should get back to your training. If you train hard enough, I might let you take the day off tomorrow...MIGHT! GOT THAT?" Yoh smiled stupidly at Anna, Was she actually being kind of _nice? _

Yoh laughed and trained as hard as he could, and Anna told him tomorrow he could take a break.

'_Perfect, Tomorrow I can try out Miroku's tips!' _Yoh thought sleepily as he climbed into his bed. He couldn't wait until morning!

Yoh awoke early and was sad to find that Anna was still asleep. Yoh frowned but grinned seeing Tamao up and starting breakfast.

'_I can practice on Tamao first, that way I won't mess up when Anna's awake!' _Yoh thought and strode over to Tamao, cocking his head to the side and clicking his teeth.

"How you doing?" He asked as though he were Joey from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Tamao looked at Yoh nervously, had he gone crazy?

"Are...are you alright Yoh-sama?" She asked looking worried. Yoh frowned, maybe he hadn't done it right. He cleared his throat and put his hand on his hip, raising his eyebrows.

"Of course, baby. Did it hurt when you fell from the sky, Angel?" Tamao's eyes grew to big for her face, but luckily, at that moment Pilika and Horo walked in. Tamao looked relieved.

"You guys are here early!" Tamao said happily as Horo blushed and looked down at the floor. Yoh nodded looking at Pilika. He walked over to her and Horo looked at Yoh, very confused.

"Pilika, you are looking f-i-n-e. FINE! I'd like to break me off a piece of that uh huh!" Yoh said and Pilika backed away from him, insulted. HoroHoro looked at Yoh angrily.

"Don't talk to my sister like that Yoh!" Horo said stepping in front of Pilika. Yoh winked at Pilika.

"Don't worry, Pilika, I'll see you later babes!" HoroHoro was about ready to blast Yoh as Anna walked in.

"Anna, what's wrong with him!" Tamao, Horo and Pilika said pointing at Yoh as Anna walked in. Anna gave Yoh an icy glare. Yoh gulped.

"What do you mean?" Anna asked in a monotone. Yoh then saw his chance, raising his eyebrows at Anna and cocking his head to the side he groped Anna's...butt. Everyone except Anna gasped and Anna looked at Yoh, about to kill him. Yoh grinned smugly.

"C'mon babe, you know you want me." Yoh said (everyone gasped again.). Anna turned around and smacked Yoh.

"Do you have a death wish, Yoh? Why did you just do that? You better have a reason! OR I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOU AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT." Anna screamed, slapping Yoh's other cheek.

Yoh pranced off, wiggling his hips as the book had said to do. He turned around like a supermodel on a runway.

"Just taking some tips from the expert to make the ladies want me, honey!" Yoh said and walked off towards the TV room. Anna, Horo, Tamao and Pilika stared at each other. Silence. A tumbleweed goes by.

Horo blinks at the tumbleweed, wondering how it got there. Silence. Finally, Pilika sighs.

"So...maybe we should find out why Yoh's acting like a pimped up pervert! Pilika asked kind of blankly.

"Oh yeah, maybe that'll work, sure..great uh huh." Everyone else said and started towards Yoh's room to look for clues to his odd behaviour.

Horo smiled happily.

"OOO! A COMIC BOOK!" He said and opened it, realizing the comic book was covering some sort of novel.

"Boring..." Horo said throwing it on the ground. Anna picked it up glaring daggers.

"Don't just throw things around you stupid...Hey wait..." Anna looked at the cover of the book. The cover said MIROKU'S TIPS TO GET THE WOMAN OF YOUR DREAMS. Anna stared in disbelief and opened the book.

Everyone crowded around her and gasped. Anna began to read.

"The perfect way to get a girl to realize you want her. It says you should grope and try out pick-up lines listed below! So _this _is what Yoh was doing. Trying to get the woman of his dreams!" Anna said shocked. Everyone else was shocked too. Pilika looked at Anna.

"He wasn't doing it for just anyone Anna! He was doing it for you! We all see the way he looks at you!" Pilika said and Tamao nodded sadly. Anna looked like she was going to cry.

"He did this just to.." Anna shook her head at Yoh's idiocy, loving him even more at that moment. Tamao nudged Anna with her elbow.

"I think you should tell him to stop. I don't like him hitting on me." Anna nodded at Tamao.

"I guess this is the moment of truth, I have to tell him how I feel.." Horo looked sheepish.

"So you love him as well, ne?" Anna nodded and Pilika smiled wide, she loved romance. Pilika turned to Anna.

"Good luck, Anna!" Anna smiled at her friend and pushed through Tamao and Horo, off to find Yoh.

"Yoh Asakura!" Anna screamed, running towards him. Yoh smiled shyly, but remembering his advice, stood up straight and looked at Anna.

"Couldn't stay away, could ya baby?" Yoh said and Anna wrinkled his nose, it didn't sound like Yoh at all. Anna threw him an icy look and yelled at him.

"Cut the act Asakura! I found your stupid book and it's full of crap!" Yoh looked down at the floor, feeling like crying. Anna came close to him and hugged him. Yoh looked up at her, shocked.

"You don't need a book to be with me. I already l...lo..love you. Just stay the same as my Yoh." Anna said and Yoh draped his arms around her.

"I guess I just needed a way to tell you, and Miroku's was all the advice I had." Yoh said, feeling incredibly idiotic.

"You promise to never leave me? Even when I slap you or train you hard?" Anna asked and Yoh laughed heartily.

"If I didn't care about you, I would've ran away a long time ago." Anna laughed as well.

"And I would've killed you a long time ago." They laughed and stayed close to each other.

Ren glared at the ground, he hoped Pilika was at Yoh's house, he needed to ask her something very important.

Away from her baka brother HoroHoro. Ren was heading up the stairs when he saw Anna and Yoh...hugging? Ren stared at them, so confused all he could do was stare.

Anna and Yoh finally noticed him and pulled apart. Ren finally spoke.

"What the hell...? Are you two...You are...what the hell...?" Ren stammered trembinly. Yoh laughed nervously and Anna, well, Anna just looked pissed. Ren shook his head and walked towards the house.

"This...this isn't over...but...what the hell...?" Ren walked inside in search of Pilika. Yoh and Anna went back to hugging each other lovingly.

"Pilika! Pilika!" Ren shouted, searching the house.

"Pili-oof!" Ren had run into Horo. Horo glared at Ren.

'_Oh, great...' _Ren thought sarcastically.

"Why do you need to see my sister, _Ren_?" Horo asked, feeling very protective of Pilika at that moment. Also, he didn't like Ren, and he didn't want Ren hurting Pilika.

"None of your buisness, you pea brained dolt! Now where is she?" HoroHoro's mouth opened to say something as Pilika brushed past him, grinning widely.

"Hey Ren!" Pilika said happily and Ren shot Horo a look that said 'I-win'. Horo closed his mouth, realizing it was still hanging open.

"So, Ren did you need me for something?" Pilika asked, ignoring Horo, who looked ready to kill Ren.

"Well, can I ask you somewhere..._alone?_" Ren said, smirking at HoroHoro. Pilika nodded and followed Ren into Yoh's room.

Yoh and Anna walked in the house, stopping dead in their tracks, seeing _him _there. Yes, Hao Asakura was in Anna's room, on her floor reading the book by Miroku. Hao looked up, pure evil shining in his face. Hao turned and looked at Anna.

"Nice dress baby, It'd look better on the floor." Hao said...

Pilika sat next to Ren on Yoh's futon. Ren looked at her and Pilika felt her heart sink to the floor with love for him. Ren moved over on the futon so they were very close and then Ren started telling her his news.

"Pilika, my parent's bought a new jet plane and...I'm leaving for China for a few weeks.." Pilika looked down in sadness and Ren cupped her face in his hands.

"Pilika, I want you to come with me." Pilika's eyes grew wide with excitement and she grabbed Ren and planted a kiss on him. Ren blushed at her happiness. Pilika clasped her hands together and looked at Ren dreamily.

"Oh, Ren...China! And with you...Oh Ren! I'm so happy!" Pilika hugged Ren tight and Ren's face lit up.

"I'm..uh glad your happy, Pilika. Will you go?" Ren asked, hoping she would say yes.

"Oh Ren! Of course I'll go! I'd_ love _to!" Ren kissed the top of Pilika's head. Pilika leaned on Ren's shoulder and Ren put his arm around her. At that moment HoroHoro walked in...

Hao stood up and walked slowly towards Anna, backing her into a corner. Hao grabbed Anna and kissed her. Anna pushed Hao away and gagged. Yoh looked pissed.

"Don't touch Anna!" Yoh yelled at Hao and Hao laughed manically.

"Too late Yoh! According to this book, Anna should be madly in love with me now!" Hao looked at Anna and she smiled at him. Hao looked at Yoh again.

"See?" Hao turned to Anna again ready to kiss her. Anna grinned widely, evilly and punched Hao hard. He staggered back.

"You bitch, you broke my nose! Oh, when I'm better, your so burned!". Hao left and as soon as he was gone, Yoh and Anna laughed hysterically, holding on to each other for support.

"I guess we won't see _him _for a while!" Yoh laughed and Anna fell into his arms laughing.

HoroHoro looked at them both murderously. Pilika pulled apart from Ren reluctantly and looked up at her older brother.

"Hey..." Pilika said slowly and nervously wanting to go back in Ren's arms. HoroHoro looked at her as though she had betrayed him. And maybe she had.

"What are you doing here with this short chinese loser Pilika?" Horo asked angrily and Pilika stood up quickly.

"Don't you dare call him that Horo!" Pilika screamed. Ren stood up to, fighting the urge to grab Pilika's hand in his. Horo turned to Ren.

"Why don't you go bug someone else's sister and leave Pilika alone!" Horo said loudly and Ren growled at him. Pilika ran between them and faced her brother.

"Onii-chan, I'm sorry but you can't stop me from seeing Ren. I love him! I love that you want to protect me, but Ren loves me too, and he won't hurt me. Please except that!" Pilika's eyes watered. Horo nodded sadly.

"I'm sorry Pilika. I just don't want anything to happen to you y'know? But why Ren? I mean c'mon..." Pilika giggled and gave Ren's hand a squeeze.

"Because he's all I've ever wanted and all I ever need in the world." Ren's face turned extremely red and he looked at Pilika shyly. Horo groaned and rolled his eyes.

"You're wierd, Pilika." Pilika laughed and Ren looked defensive.

"We're going to China for a few weeks." Ren said, almost snobbishly. Horo stiffened but nodded grimly.

"Fine, but if one thing happens to Pilika, your dead!" Ren agreed and Horo left Ren and Pilika to talk of China.

**THE END**

(P.S. Look out for PART II: **Ren and Pilika Go To China and Yoh and Anna's First Date**


End file.
